One of the more helpful and insightful things I’ve seen about depression/suicide in the last couple of days.
The boy in my mind
Is someone most people never get to see
When I talk about him
Everyone is in disbelief
Some call me crazy
Others call him a lie
But if you look closely you can see
The darkness in our eyes
He sits and waits
To come out and play
And keep up his reputation
Most days he stays silent
Other days he takes over
Some say its just depression
Others say its bipolar
He’s a voice in my head
The person I’ve always wanted to be
But he likes it better if we keep our separate personalities
It’s a game we play, day by day
He says “Hi” then I ask him to come out and stay.
I have to go now “he always says”
Leaving me in a place of dread
Skies clouded with depression
But I look to the sky and feel hope.
But then everything goes back to shit
And I go back to sit and mope.
He comes back and says “don’t cry”
I ask why and he says “because we can just get high”
Good idea I think at the time
On my way to the dealer, counting every nickel and dime
He knows the danger excites
So he tells me to go run out into the night
“do a bunch of crazy shit” he says “It’ll be alright”
“A night of destruction is just what you need”
I say “Thank you” and “please never leave”
Once an enemy, now a good friend
One day he’ll tell me when it can all just end.
So until that day I live in sin
Taking directions from my imaginary twin.